I’ve been crying today. I’ve been blaming it on allergies, spicy food, internet memes, and the things I’ve read today. When the truth is – it’s unchecked emotions, it’s a spiritual reckoning, and it’s an emotional awakening…
So I’m here writing. Trying to focus on something other than feelings and grief and tears and all the regrets I have. These are the moments you’re supposed to allow yourself to feel your feelings and it seems like it’s happening against my will.
It’s not depression, it’s sensitivity. I woke up with acute pain in my back and cried from that. I sat through the day thinking about all the things that mean something to me and in an effort to take my mind off my pain, I scrolled through Facebook and more tears. Beautiful things, deep things, sad things, hurtful things… sensitive things hit my eyes.
I feel like God is looking in my direction today and I don’t know what to do.
My God is bigger and stronger than anything – was said by a child in a video as she was getting blood drawn from her arm and why I broke I don’t know. Tears just ran and I felt my breath hitch in my throat and I could barely breathe. It just seemed like something I needed to hear.
AND it truly was.
I’ll be okay. The physical pain is still with me, but that’s the nature of Sciatica. Comes and goes. My tears have shored up a bit so, off I go o do some more reading. It helps.
Be good humans ❤
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