Under
Down sunny flowered walkways
Across desert sands
Within the rings of Saturn
All sparked from the pill in my hand
Umber glows from deep within
Stirs the beast beneath the skin
Angel or demon, I can never tell
From the gates of Heaven or the pits of Hell
I speculate if the pill makes them
Prominent or makes them go away
Angels I see rarely
Demons are known to me every day
Down moonlit paths
Across rough waterways
I step on the surface of the Sun
Back to the eternal night of day
I hope to live and never know regret
Some days are made for remembrances
Others I strive to forever forget
Written 7/31/2010
By Tyronica Smith
“““““““““““““““
(Remember echoes in the back of her mind)
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1… when I snap my fingers, you will be back in time, back at the beginning. *snap* Do you remember the beginning, Kara?” Dr. Layne asks.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“But you must, it’s the only way. Calm yourself and breathe.”
Kara took a deep breath and relaxed in her chair. She searched the memory as requested of her. Images of her past flash before her eyes and flood her senses before they settle on one.
“See the scene now. Can you see it?” Dr. Layne leans in toward her, careful not to make any noise. He lays his pen and pad down on the small side table and focuses on her.
“Yes”, Kara said in a sleepy tone with hesitation in her voice. Her eyes move from side to side beneath the lids letting the doctor know she’s fully under.
“See it clearly.”
“I see him. He’s right there, clearer than anything else.”
“What else is there?”
“An orange glow in the middle of the floor. And he’s laughing.”
“Who’s laughing? Who is he?”
“The faceless man! It’s him! He’s right there!”
“I see. He represents your anxiety. Ignore him and he will go away.”
“I can’t.”
“Refocus now. What is the glow? Can you tell me?”
“Fire. Something’s burning.”
“Something like what? Can you get a good look at it?”
“Paper… no… a book. My book! He’s burning my book!”
“What book is this?”
“The one I wrote… The one that took me 4 years to complete. He’s burning it!”
(Remember me? Tsk tsk, you’ve forgotten all about me. )
“Make it stop!”
(Kara I want you to listen to the sound of my voice.)
“Kara I want you to listen to the sound of my voice.”
“No!”
(Hear me. I’m with you and when you wake, I’ll be right beside you.)
“Hear me. I’m with you and when you wake, I’ll be right beside you.”
“NO!”
(Yes!)
“Yes.”
“Someone help me!” Kara screamed out, in memory and in the present. She reached out to guard herself against the faceless man. Swinging wildly, she struck skin and caused the doctor to fall back in his chair… also causing the faceless man to shrink back then advance.
(When I snap my fingers, I will be right there with you. You’ll wake but I’ll be right there with you.)
“When I snap my fingers, I will be right there with you. You’ll wake but I’ll be right there with you.”
*Snap*
Kara flung her eyes open wide and scooted out of the chair to the floor, quickly scanning her surroundings.
“Where is he?”
“Where is who?”
“The faceless man!”
“There is no faceless man. I told you, he is just a manifestation of your anxiety. You’ve been stressed out and under a lot of pressure. Which is why we’re here.”
“What? Noo. That’s… that’s not why I’m here.” Kara said, her voice full of confusion and doubt.
“Do you remember why you’re here, Kara?”
Kara rose to her feet and tried to remember. She couldn’t. She closed her eyes tightly and used the heel of her hand to knock against her forehead… hoping to spawn a memory of what she was doing there and why. Nothing came.
“I don’t know.” She said with her eyes still closed. “I don’t know why I’m here. But he won’t stop talking. He keeps saying…”
“I told you –”
“He keeps saying, he’s you! You’re him!
(Who am I, Kara? Say it!)
“Who am I Kara? Say it.”
“The faceless man. You burned my book because I was writing about you. I was going to tell everyone what you did. I’m not crazy. You did it! I remember every word I wrote and I’m going to write it again!”
Dr. Layne quickly walked over to his desk and pressed the red button on his phone. Within a matter of seconds, three orderlies and 2 nurses flooded the space of the room and surrounded her.
“Take her back to her room and remove her implements. We don’t want her causing harm to herself or anyone else.”
“Yes, Dr. Layne,” the nurses chimed.
“Oh and search her room for anything that she may have been writing. I’ll need to look it over.”
“Sure thing.”
The orderlies had her cornered in the room. One of the nurses produced a syringe with an amber colored vial. She poked the top of the vial and drug the solution through the needle into the barrel of the syringe. The orderlies pinned her to the floor while the nurse pushed the solution into the crook of Kara’s arm. After several moments of trying to fight them all off, she went still. Her eyes were distant as she repeated a phrase over and over until she grew quiet.
“The faceless man is you. The faceless man is you…. The faceless… you….
“What’s she saying, doctor?”
“Gibberish I’m afraid. We were so close this time. We’ll try again in a week.”
“Okay, Dr. Layne. I’ll notify her family.”
“Leave that to me, I need to speak with them personally.”
“Okay.”
An orderly brought in a wheelchair and placed Kara’s limp body in it and wheeled her off to her room and closed the door behind them.
Dr. Layne stood to go to the window and look out of it at the lawns of Hillcrest. She removed his cell phone from his pocket and began thumbing through its contacts list for a phone number. He pressed Call.
“Yes, we were unsuccessful this week. But we’re almost there, I’m certain. No… she only thinks she knows what we do here. I agree, speculation could be the seed that kills the program. We’ll continue… she’s just one of the 20 we have here that seems to know anything at all. Surely, she won’t matter but what worries me is… she’s been writing.
A book. Several books actually but I’ve taken care to burn the drafts. Yes… four of them were published in previous years and 2 have been since I’ve been seeing her as a patient this past year. Well…no, I didn’t think to read any of her work. I assumed her writing… disjointed and illegible. Yes, I’ll look into it. I’ll call her fam–. Of course. I’ll leave that to you then.”
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